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i'm not suited to be a housewife...heh maybe not 'dirty' too......
I saw him today…out of the blue, with no warning…catching me by absolute surprise. Chuah was like, “blanchee!” I smiled…how could I not know when I was standing by the door? One thing that I knew I would never make the wrong judgement about him: indeed, it hurt to know that I never did hold any place in his line of vision, neither did he acknowledge my presence, but there was a notable change in that he had more confidence, and as I always knew he would be, faithful to the one whom he is with. And I would always want to keep it this way, wishing him eternal happiness with “her”, praying for God’s blessing to be upon them, forever. Hee abby’s right…you never ever forget the first person you loved, or those you love. I only realized it today after affirming myself to be free of this forever…my foot…haha… You may read this, you may not. You may know who you are, you may not….but I would like to thank you for giving me the opportunity to love, to give. To teach me how to give so freely without wanting anything in return, and even if I did, it was never paramount to giving so much more….this I will keep close in the recesses of my memories…and with each passing day will this be my prayer for you two : an eternity of love and passion, a lifetime of bliss and happiness, and most but not least, a love that exists and lasts through Him. Hee and my dears who know who this is, don’t be kaypoh to ask the person to read it lah. Him aside, hee was really sian mugging so I started packing this “about-to-grow-fungi-and-moss-If-I-said-grow” stack of papers when I found…..ta-da!!! Haha this crappy romance novel I tried to write but failed miserably due to me PRC quality Chinese (permanent resisdent of Chinese remedial) that was absolutely cliché to the core…muahaha! Hopeless romantic ole’ me…haha with inspiration from jay chou’s and wen lan’s “wu ding”!!! Haha diya darling if you read it I guess you might have a hint where the lyrics for our 2nd song came abouts J (I’ve finished writing the song, bridge and all muahaha! After exams will sing it to you….) Anyway, isn’t it amazing what love can do? Haha even though you peeps will laugh at me Korean and chiungyao fanatic thoughts, love brings about the best in people, and to some, it may be the worst…but I sincerely hope for the former…But isn’t it sweet for a love that lasts through the ages, that sacrifices so much, that seeks for our happiness? And being absolutely selfless except for one condition: that we may love that “He”: in return? Haha the only model couple so far is our wonderful judge mr. Adriel loh….but in truth I can think of no other example other than the one many of us have….a relationship that is all-in-one: Father-child, friend, Lover and the one who makes me Blessed…yup! It’s the Lord! J Hee in a way I’ve been really blessed since young in that I’ve experienced inexplicable miracles that would really just make me refute all possibilities that He exists…and even then, which love would not require us to love others? Which love isn’t all forgiving…that we are no longer bound by sin? Hee pardon my rants but this was quite intended to be a splash of my thoughts uncensored as much as possible….Adriel (hm…or was it adam?) once talked about this new age thing that thrives most in America…hee and he was talking about Tom cruise and Nicole kidman who believed in scientology…a religion that supposedly requires one to pay money to “Zap” oneself with an electric current or whatever to cleanse oneself of sins… Has anyone thought about a religion which doesn’t require any bargaining at all, a religion in which our debt has long been paid for painfully and heartlessly with one life? And one in which all is required is a love relationship. A Father more forgiving than any other, blessing more than any of the dads could do if we believed. A friend who is more faithful than any other, a friend who knows all things, a friend who knows what is best for us. And a lover who will protect us at all costs, carrying us when we’re tired and in difficult times? One who is the alpha and omega, the beginning and the end…the key to all things once questioned….indeed that is He…called by so many names…more than you or I have had, and He is the rightful one who can only call judgement on you and I. Heck care the malingners, the caustic, the accusational….for in the end, all that matters is what HE thinks. What HE says. Mrs Veluri once put down a missionary and evangelist in class….i guess indeed, some evangelists just talk freakily, making no sense at all and even sounding like occults…some do not even know their basis of approach, but whilst to the one being approached thinks that person is just a pest and irritating…I feel the other is so much more noble…for it is a quest of love and a desperate stake for your lives….if you knew your loved one was going to die, would you stand by and do nothing? Definitely no! same goes for these people…and even more still, they’re sacrificing whatever they may have to save you. You may think they don’t, maybe it’s true, but they’re made to do it cos of a greater One who loves you. Yeah, you! Maybe religion is a waste of time, one which rips us of our independence. But no one can be totally independent. We live cos of love, isn’t it? And love exists in so many forms…we are beings made to love, desire love and to be love…every part of us thirsts for it…okay, so I’m super duper mushy and you’re retorting with all excuses in your head…but search deep, really deep and you’ll know… I could go on and on forever, but if you gave your religion a chance, why not this? A religion which explains the beginning and the end, how the earth, galaxy, and us came to be…I wouldn’t attribute that to chance...and to my dear frens…I know you worry about my results (so do I)…but I worry even more for what comes after this…what is this life for? If there’s but one truth…it’s really no use escaping from it for it catches up on us…so why deny it? Indeed you may blame some Christians for their terrible behaviour…but why not take a look at the human population? Everyone errs, we cannot be perfect..it is humanly impossible…but someone is…and He is there waiting for us, it’s personal to each individual…such is love. I love you my dear friends, and to me the most important thing is to save you eternally from an enemy who works in the most cunning of ways. Perhaps it’s even gnawing at your thoughts and hearts right now to join it, not us to whom it even tries to pull us away from a life we will live eternally, in happiness so it will not be alone….will you give in? It’s a battle out here to be precise, and there’re only two positions as all stories are with just one outcome: to join me in the good side, or “it”, in the bad side? It’s your choice.
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