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hahahaha! i zhou kan called leo ku a SNAG!!!Happiness!!! haha am ready to forgive them for not placing his pic in ho yeow sun's concert....argh!!!!but he was the guest!!!! and she GAVE him a computer game console!!!!!!! and HE GAVE HER HIS ENTIRE SET OF COMICS!!!! argh!!!! sobness....wanna haf one set too heh heh..... but i should go to kino one day to take a peek at maybe my irresistable fingers might purchase them...hehehe was at mr chong's today and when he opened the window me and mei mei gasped....the sunset's utterly beautiful!!!! argh!!! and each tapestry is different wif each day!!!! wish i could capture each one in my mind's eye...hee which is why i'd like to live in a cottage on a farm wif horses(!!!!) dogs, with a wide open field and a stream!!!! nice!!!! haha....anyone care to join me? hee we can be neighbours....
THE MORE LOVING ONE-W.H. Auden Looking up at the stars, I know quite well That, for all they care, I can go to hell, But on earth indifference is the least We have to dread from man or beast. How should we like it were stars to burn With a passion for us we could not return? If equal affection cannot be, Let the more loving one be me. Admirer as I think I am Of stars that do not give a damn, I cannot, now I see them, say I missed one terribly all day. Were all stars to disappear or die, I should learn to look at an empty sky And feel its total darkness sublime, Though this might take me a little time.
haaa!!!!!! my new custom made blogskin my jane the wonderful who wanted to make a leo ku one too!!!! and uploaded by chris!!! haha i love you guys!!!! heee....oh, the pix are from this anime called furuba (fruits basket)...can download it on kazaa....it's superb!!!! haha !!! u'll laugh lots and i cried for one whole episode!!!! hee...it's about how the girl in the pic, tohru met the 12 animals of the year...(shi er sheng xiao) and became very very very gd frens wif kyo-kun (the cat) and yuki kun (the mouse), both in this pic and the other peeps too! haha i like this anime lots lots lots!!!!! hee and i'd like to be their fren too!!! haha so they'd never ever be sad or lonely..... hahaha i love you 2!!!*muacks!!!!*
hey! i don't tease people! i mean those less fortunate!!!! i sound like a mix btwn gryffindor and slytherin.
hahaha! i'm back after my mugging capers! *gRInz* heh actually i wanted to write about love a long time ago but my brain juices and experiences are so sorry not even a drop comes out... hehe! saw this cd shop parading their discounted cds in front of west mall on my way home...heh and they had cds running at 3 for 12, 3 for 9.99 so i picked three from each side.....2 richard clayderman cds, 1 jap drama piano collection, 2 non-stop 48 oldies compilation thingy, and 1 "christmas in harlem"..haha and they had this cd wif a hundred special effects like the door closing shut, woman screaming, the "vroom vroom" car thing and this other "horror cd" wif scary music for plays so check it out man!!! *sCHMILez* so i went home happily swinging my "loot".... ALAS! When i went home and played the cds the only nice ones were the jap and christmas ones!!!! argh!!! i feel sooo cheated!!!! when the 2 cds wrote "Non-stop Oldies" they meant it!!!!! some stoopid singer(okie a series of singers) would sing a pathetic verse of that oldie (for example itsey wincey teeney winey yello polka dot bikini) without the original singer and wif no break carry on in their destruction of an originally perfectly beautiful song!!!! argh!!!! and when they came to the slow ones they quickened the tempo wif stoopid drums beating consistently throughout the entire cd!!!!! argh!!!! and to top it off the cd had obscene pix of girls in bikinis posing on motorbikes!!! and i din know cos the pix were so small i thought it was scenery !!!!!!! argh!!!!!!! sobness!!!!! okay...then came the richard clayderman cds...therefore teaching me the thorough lessson of reading cds carefully before purchase! When they meant musical box hits, they meant the tinkering tunes which were not i wanted though musical boxes are beautiful!!! and richard clayderman plays the piano BUT the tunes were some instrumental thing that definitely weren't music to my ears.....sobness heh but i had a few good cds though...the jap tunes were beautiful!haha especially the takuya kimura's "long vacation" song-CLOSE TO YOU!!!! haha! and the christmas tunes were a classic! a bit jazzy but kinda the tunes only heard in dreamy towns...nice!!! haha!!! oh...but it was a bit sad coz zhou hua jian's imported and nicely wrapped cd was reduced to a sad price of 5 bucks....sighz....and don't you guys feel that instrumental music has the knack of making one a trifle lonely and in absolute solitude? heh......
hee i'll think of sth wif more substance to write about yeah? heehee!!! back to my bed!!!! *sCHMIlez*...happy vesak day me frens!!! meanwhile stay strong and remember: i love you lots! hee nites midarlings!!!
hee chanced upon this bible gateway thing!!! nice!!! with bible studies on each chapter!!! brilliant!!! *gRInz* 1 John 4 18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. What is love? is a question asked by theologians, philosophers and ethicists; by romantic poets and adolescents; by betrayed spouses and abandoned children; by the hope ful and the hopeless; by the dreamy-eyed and the cynical. Answers to the question are many. And, sadly enough, many of the answers betray a hard-edged cynicism. The familiar folk song "Lemon Tree" has a father giving his son this advice: "Don't put your faith in love, my boy. . . . I fear you'll find that love is like the lovely lemon tree . . . very pretty, and the lemon flower is sweet, but the fruit of the poor lemon is impossible to eat." In short, dream about love, sing about it, write about it--but avoid it, for it does not bring hope and joy, only hopelessness and bitterness. The author of 1 John has a different view of the matter. Simply and boldly he writes, God is love. Inadvertently this often gets turned around to read "love is God." If love is God, then it is what we live for, what we serve, the ultimate standard of all. Augustine wrote that, prior to his conversion, "I loved not yet, yet I loved to love. . . . I sought what I might love, in love with loving" (Confessions 3.1). Love itself was what was sought, cherished, hoped for. Love is, as one pop song of the sixties had it, "all you need." But John does not write "love is God," that love is the final and supreme good. He writes, God is love. If we want to know what love is, then we must let God define it. As Frederick Buechner comments, "To say that love is God is romantic idealism. To say that God is love is either the last straw or the ultimate truth" (1973:54). For John, it is indeed the ultimate truth. God is not hate, anger, bitterness or deceit, but love. Love does not de scribe the fullness of God, but God defines the fullness of love. In this section of the epistle (4:13--5:5), we are shown that God is the standard of love (4:13-16); the one who encourages us in love (4:17-18); the source of love (4:19-20); and the one who commands us to love (4:21--5:5).
Happy burfday celeste midarling!!!!! *gRInz* may happiness and His Love fill your days always!!!! I Love You lots!!!! *hugs*muackz*
hahaha! i'm back after my mugging capers! *gRInz* heh actually i wanted to write about love a long time ago but my brain juices and experiences are so sorry not even a drop comes out... hehe! saw this cd shop parading their discounted cds in front of west mall on my way home...heh and they had cds running at 3 for 12, 3 for 9.99 so i picked three from each side.....2 richard clayderman cds, 1 jap drama piano collection, 2 non-stop 48 oldies compilation thingy, and 1 "christmas in harlem"..haha and they had this cd wif a hundred special effects like the door closing shut, woman screaming, the "vroom vroom" car thing and this other "horror cd" wif scary music for plays so check it out man!!! *sCHMILez* so i went home happily swinging my "loot".... ALAS! When i went home and played the cds the only nice ones were the jap and christmas ones!!!! argh!!! i feel sooo cheated!!!! when the 2 cds wrote "Non-stop Oldies" they meant it!!!!! some stoopid singer(okie a series of singers) would sing a pathetic verse of that oldie (for example itsey wincey teeney winey yello polka dot bikini) without the original singer and wif no break carry on in their destruction of an originally perfectly beautiful song!!!! argh!!!! and when they came to the slow ones they quickened the tempo wif stoopid drums beating consistently throughout the entire cd!!!!! argh!!!! and to top it off the cd had obscene pix of girls in bikinis posing on motorbikes!!! and i din know cos the pix were so small i thought it was scenery !!!!!!! argh!!!!!!! sobness!!!!! okay...then came the richard clayderman cds...therefore teaching me the thorough lessson of reading cds carefully before purchase! When they meant musical box hits, they meant the tinkering tunes which were not i wanted though musical boxes are beautiful!!! and richard clayderman plays the piano BUT the tunes were some instrumental thing that definitely weren't music to my ears.....sobness heh but i had a few good cds though...the jap tunes were beautiful!haha especially the takuya kimura's "long vacation" song-CLOSE TO YOU!!!! haha! and the christmas tunes were a classic! a bit jazzy but kinda the tunes only heard in dreamy towns...nice!!! haha!!! oh...but it was a bit sad coz zhou hua jian's imported and nicely wrapped cd was reduced to a sad price of 5 bucks....sighz....and don't you guys feel that instrumental music has the knack of making one a trifle lonely and in absolute solitude? heh......
There's A Hero by Billy Gilman There's a flower in the smallest garden Reaching for the light There's a candle in the darkest corner Conquering the night There is amazing strength In a willing hand There are victories That you've never planned There's a hero In everybody's heart There's a fire inside of everybody Burning clear & bright There's a power in the faintest heartbeat That cannot be denied Go on and trust yourself You can ride the wind You're gonna take your dreams Where they've never been There's a hero In everybody's heart Go on and trust yourself You can ride the wind You're gonna take your dreams Where they've never been There's a hero In everybody's heart There's a hero In everybody's heart
My Time On Earth by Billy Gilman My Time On Earth Long as it seems Is just a moment In the grand scheme of things A short refrain Of life's endless song Sung only once and then we're gone My time on earth Each breath I breathe Is one more chance To share my love with those like me Who come and go Like shooting stars The truth be known thats all we are The more that I know The more I can see The older I grow The more I believe Its not the length of the life Or the depth of the grave In the end we'll be measured By the love that we gave So my time on earth On fate depends But all that happens In the space from end to end Depends on me And choices I face For better or worse They're mine to make More that I know The more I can see The older I grow The more I believe Its not the length of the life Or the depth of the grave In the end we'll be measured By the love that we gave So my time on earth Will be well spent And when I leave this world, I leave with no regrets I'll live and love For all its worth 'Til I live out my time on earth 'Til I live out my time on earth
Hee now i've vented my frustrations let's get on to nicer things! *gRInz* hee what songs do you peeps like? to me it's anything wif a good tune and good lyrics (not those that make no sense, haf rotten grammar and just repeat the same line over and over again wif a horrible tune), good voice, and ain't too noisy (or they'll give me a headache) haha but one thing i've learnt, listen to a few songs over and over again and u'll find some essence within them that's worth listening (though some are utterly hopeless....) Me love duets lots!!!!!! Heh.... So...Yup! here's that blan-chee awards for the following headings...... Korean Bands/ Drama and Movie soundtracks 1.Autumn in my Heart (chiu tian de tong hua wif won bin(!!!!!!) , song seung hun(!!!!) and song hae gyo(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)) 2.Winter Sonata 3.All In 4.My Sassy Girl 5.Il Mare 6.H.O.T (well only their slow songs which are actually not too slow) which has disbanded into Kang-Ta and JTL 7.S.E.S. Chinese/Cantonese Singers: 1.Leo Ku Ju Ji / Ku Kuei Kei!!!! (hubba bubba!!! :) every song's as nice and dreamy as the last) 2.Jay Chou (Zhou Jie Lun)(one thing's for certain, he grows on you, is talented and is creative man! love his latest abum!!!) 3. Leslie Zhang Guo Rong (though his crisp voice really causes his english songs to be more marvellous) 4.Gallen Lo 5. Jeff Zhang Xin Zhe 6. Sun Yan Zi (actually only some songs leh....) 7.Alec Su You Peng (Or even Xiao Hu Dui!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!) 8.William So/ Su Yong Kang( All the way su's!!!!) 9. Kit Chan (Chen Jie Yi) 10. Gigi Liang Yong Qi 11. Van Fan Yi Chen (all right!!!!) 12. Tao Zhe ? (Hee actually only a few songs, and his Shou Qian Shou wif Wang Lee-Hom is fabulous!!!) 13. Ah mei , zhang hui mei!!!! :) 14. S.H.E (?) English Singers, Bands, Miscellaneous 1. Josh Groban!!!!! 2. BoyZone 3.Westlife 4. Billy Gilman!!!! (Check it out!!! He's only 12!!!!!Powerful and Rich Voice!) 5.Clay AIken 6. Carpenters 7.Olivia Newton-John 8. A few songs a Sarah Brightman 9. Lea Salonga 10. Clay AIken 11. Michael W.Smith 12. DISNEY!!!!!! 13.Sarah MacLachlan (a few songs) 14Oldies!!!!! 15.Colin Raye Musicals/Cartoon/ Show/ Anime Soundtracks 1. Fruits Basket/FURUBA!!!!(Watch it too man!!! I've cried and laughed so much!!!) 2.Legends of the Fall 3.Beauty and the Beast 4.Anastasia 5.Les Miserables(Nice!!!!!!) 6.Miss Saigon 7.Oliver Twist 8.Singing in the Rain 9.Mulan 10. Joseph and the multitechnicolor dreamcoat (am i correct?) 11,.Prince of Egypt! 12 Dinosaur 13.Land Before Time 14.Casper Instrumental, Composers 1. Andrew Lloyd Weber (Listen to him!!! E.g 'Next time we fall in love', ' the perfect year' etc....) 2. Dave Koz!!! (Saxophone!!!!!) 3.Kenny G (sax!!!) 4.S.E.N.S (should listen to international channel 96.3 F.M....they play theme songs, musicals and this instrumental all the time:) ) 5.Rachmaninov 6.Pachelbel Cute Songs 1.Veggie Tales 2.The Village People 3.Hamster 4.The Smurfs AND MORE!!!! HAHA can't remember all though...will update!!!! :)
ARGH!!!!!! Today was a shitty day to be precise.... First was me waking up so late i just didn't need to go for the math mock!!! Nvm, so i went to woodlands to stardee (study spot number 2!!!! *gRInz*) but the stoopid library doesn't open til 12 noon! So i went to macs...heh the farnee thing about macs and their sweet chilli and chilli sauces is the first one has a huge packet whilst the 2nd is only half its size...on the contrary their contents are just the reverse.....(!!-_-)...what are they intending to do lah..... Next was the library...this guy couldn't just sit next to me so he could have the entire table span....he HAD to take the seat in front of me...apart from that, he just took the space i tried to make way for him wifout thinking that maybe hello, i need space too? and it wasn't enuff!!! somemore his legs were so long when he stretched them out it popped out from my side....the only reason i'm not doing that as well's just so he can have space d***it! (pardon me...it's really a disgusting day...) and his fren who came and sat nxt to me smelt of cigarette smoke!!! arghz! All right...then my whole session trying to mug was nicely ruined by the fact that i had to arrange for the chem bio and math prelim paper orders...it's not that i mind...but 1) i'm not the owner of a bank...one set costs at least $20!!!! and i have to pay on the spot wif just a measly 100? 2) the prelim papers don't drop from the sky, anuty fanny has to print them u know 3) It's only right i order as a class!!! 4) i really wanted to go for chem tuition if not for the fact that 20 percent of the population was hounding me.... So here i was running to a corner so i wouldn't be condemned by the rest of the universe nicely squashed into one level of the library and arranging for orders through my kind darling a good samaritan abby (apart from an impatient bleating meh meh *gRInz*) and messaging the entire class again and again, only to find out from a certain person that right, i'm supposed to know everything including civics class time tomorrow, or i find out and inform the whole class..*&^%$%$$$#$@#$@@!!!!!! Nxt was when i went to take a neoprint wif meimei...i lost my beloved, cute, precious SQUIRT!!!!!!!!! And 20 bucks!!!! And my home keys!!!! Argh!!!!!! And when i went back to search for it the shopowner was really unfriendly!!!!! Sob..i think the girls who went into the station after us stole it cos that was my last location..not that i would mind if they were pleasant (not so much anyway) but one of them just pulled a long face at us....meanies!!!! Horrible day horrible day........ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ But there where good sides to it too! :) at least i bought a new headphone set for my handphone!!! Hee and many nice pooh stix!!! And had nice food at MOS (it's the best fast food man!!!) cum i bought a nice sock for my handphone and something quite lovey dovey for someone to share wif that special person too muahaha!!!! And the neo print was quite nice except for the cartoon shit pasted under my butt in the photo...(!!-_-) Sigh i guess the girl really needed to money eh....never mind then....
Have u guys ever been back-stabbed before? The feeling's really shitty right...hee the worst are the hoity-toity ones who are supa dupa arrogant and think they're smart (they might be i guess) and just look down on everyone and (what's the word? ) yeah "b****" or talk against everyone behind their back. I guess these are the peeps who've never felt what it's like to be back-stabbed or their skin's as thick as the hide of an elephant...i dunno, it's probably best for those who back-stab others all day long they grow a wart or something... Have they ever thought how other peeps might think badly of this character of theirs? Without nothing good coming out of ze gap but ill-tidings? All i know is i'd find it hard to keep a friend who never sees the value of others but demeans them in the same way she may be doing to her "closed ones"...everyday would be spent in the knowledge that the person next to me is an all through hypocrite who pushes everyone off the rung so she can be successful herself and continue that attitude which may cause her to be supa dupa despised by other peeps. Perhaps one day she'll find that her stay at the peak is lonely, dangerous and insecure. And when she needs a good friend she'll find that no one else will be there for her, that she is left to fend for herself in a heartless world. That, i think is the worst possible punishment. However midarling, i guess it is not in us to judge who's right or wrong. Who has trespassed against us for we in our turn may have trespassed many others....all i can say is trust in God, and His plans... And when she finds the climb lonely and cold and needs a fren to turn to, wouldn't it be good to be able to be the one who has forgiven her and welcomes her with injured but surely open arms, giving her a love that belongs that to the grace of God. And in that, WWJD, we may truely be children of God.
Okay. I'm really pissed now...wanted to vent my frustrations but the stoopid internet connection died twice without posting!!!! Chem Prac-Worst Tragedy In The History of Mankind Argh Chem Prac was really shitty! Cow dung! Cat dung! Bat dung! Snake pee! *skull*!@#$%&*%#$* Disgusting and the worst ever!!!! Argh!!!!!! Sobness...let's start wif VA....had to refill my pipette and burette twice cos my blind batty eyes didn't read the instructions carefully and mixed up the reagents!!!! Yikes!!! And when i got it correct i forgot my HCl!!!! Argh!!! And i didn't realise until the titration reading was like 30.0 cm3!!! And my readings were supa dupa way off the accurate result!!! Like 0.7cm3 man!!!! Sheesh!! And the best thing is i circled the important points!!!!! Absolutely brilliant...*crazy laughter* And i broke the same pipette twice!!!! Arghz!!! Cum other clumsiness!!! Argh!!! And for QA, Cambridge is supa dupa rich this year eh...gave us the unexpected-organic chem!!! And i wanted to write phenol but wrote spastic aryl group instead!!!! And many other calculation errors!!!! Argh!!! And i din see the D-E-D-U-C-E in QA!!!!!!*a-bish*!!!! And the stoopid Chem Lab had no air ventilation!!!! Was so stuffy until i almost turned brain-dead!!!! And was on the verge of collapsing in the chem lab!!!! Horrible!!! Terrible!!!Yikes!!!!! *knocks head against wall* -----------End of Complaining------------ Hee it's not the end peeps!!! Can still start afresh!!!! We can still get our 'A's man!!!! Must Gambate-Jia you-Bon Courage-Press On-Let's...Ooosh!!!! Yupsh!!!!! *gRInz* Let's work hard and take revenge man!!!!! Woohoo!!!!!
It's Just Goodbye by Lea Salonga The sweetest songs, fade to echoes in the wind The best of times must end, so a new day can begin And the dreams we dream that seem so real at night Must meet the morning light, and vanish from our sight It's just goodbye Remember, time was never our friend We walked the road together, we came to the end It's just goodbye Now I won't tell you not to cry But I swear that what we had won't die Cause it isn't over, it's just goodbye I close my eyes, and I still can see your face I know the truth of us, can't be bound by time or space And the joy we shared, the magic that we've known Is something that we own, though we may be alone It's just goodbye Remember, time was never our friend We walked the road together, we came to the end It's just goodbye Now I won't tell you not to cry But I swear that what we had won't die Cause it isn't over, it's just goodbye It's just goodbye It doesn't really matter why I know what we had, can never die Cause I'll always love you Yes I'll always love you, so it's just goodbye
*gRinz* muahaha! bought the "all in" ost soundtrack at popular today using the voucher from that chinese writing competition*amazement* hahaha...*satisfied but not really so* haha really the judges are sticklers for positive endings(!!!??)..hee the reason why the story's good only cos of impactful and sad endings that really touch a person's heart does it not? ...argh...haha.. hehe but speaking of chinese..i'm quite amazed since i've been an absolutely loyal member of the PRC club...heh not in the brilliant chinese sense, but a consistent member of the "Permanent Remedial for Chinese" class (!!!-_-) oh woe is me...and my results haven't exactly been stunning...barely scraping past "acceptable" in past history... *sMILEz* but despite the terrors pushing wordy meanings and "cheemalogy" phrases, i must admit the best teachers (actually 2 out of 3) are chinese teachers!!! *clapsh*clapsh* heehee so they're not exactly "riders from hell" :) Furthermore apart from christian songs the next best are disney and musicals in tie wif korean and chineeeeeeesssseee songs! haha to the effect that they're not as noisy as the others...*sMIlez* and their drama serials and shows are fabulous, farnee and fantastic-ko!!!! sobness... haha enuff crapping and the pretense that chem prac doesn't exist...back i go to my dearies....*sniffles*.... nites nites!!!
hehz...am suposed to be mugging for chem prac now haha...welcome my loves! my dearie gases, charts and chemicals... (!!!-_-) sobness... haha tried twiddling wif Chris' Ibanez (elec guitar) but i guess i ended up scaring away all existence of life-form muahaha!!! *gRInz* am hopeless lah heh...but i wanna learn the flute!!! the clarinet!!! drums!!!! guitar!!!!! nicey instruments!!! heh but i guess i'd better master the other 2 before i talk huh.... *wINkz* hahah! was quite tomboyish and a what-to-do-to-be-cool-tipper when i was younger heh...guess it arose from me being quite disgusted at the extreme girl-i-ness in my primary school class..the squeals...giggles...yikes...and how the girls would tend to tilt to a certain "fashion-frame" to be defined cool..hee i guess that's when i decided to "stand out" i.e. not do what everyone was doing...like trying not to laugh loudly muahaha *evil*(that's where you get the 'vibrator')...but i guess it became a flop when i realised there wasn't much creativity in rules-rules-rules ny..sighness.... just woke up from a strange dream in the afternoon...*strange music accompanies strange dream recall"..dreamt about this korean show "bright girl's success" which i've only chased the sypnosis for(!!!) where i foresaw a terrible ending for the girl's family...so wif my younger brother popping out of nowhere we tries to avert the disaster but the idiot (my bro in the dream) helped to make the disaster happen(!@#$%!!!*skull**turtle*!!!!) sobness...doesn't it feel terrible to be helpless (and hopeless) watching things happen when we could have stopped it? felt (to give the most appropriate term...pardon ze dirtiness) like piles of sheeeeet (to be precise, lao sai) when i woke up...hee don't give me the "what must happen will happen" thing... i've felt it before...the looming of a disaster but being totally helpless (not to mention those feelings about tests....euwwww...) and we may question why it happens...but i guess the only answer that withstands all ages is... "we can only trust in the perfect plan for our lives...not fatalists but people of faithfulness...." sobnesss...the clarion call of chem prac beckons...
*gRinz* haha just visited a variety of superteen blogs and sites...educated myself on the ever-so-bountiful vulgarities (hee very expressive i must add! :)) and am now helping Chris in his application to the UWC! quite proud of myself actually...heh never knew my england was that powderful hahaha...:) decided my blog doesn't sound so intellectual so let me start on a topic....love? haha noooooooo!!! for reasons apparent, adding to the fact that it's as barren as the number of moles on a monkey (I hope they do not have moles...(!!-_-)) haha yup! *wINkz* hm...let's talk about frenships then.. how impt are frenships to you? hee i guess it's hard to measure the intangible...but i guess they mean the world to me (yup! you reading this! :) ). So much so that i've been hurt so easily so many times....quite coincidental but i've lost frens in too many ways....betrayal, drifting apart..and death. have u experienced either one of these before? if not...lucky you!!!! *hmpf* :) but on the contrary, i've had goodsh friends i would never exchange in my entire lifetime...friends as dear to my as life itself... diyaz (my korean and entertainment madness darling!!! haha remember our "autumn in my heart" or "winter sonata" mtv date in korea!!! get ready the video cam!!!*gRInz*), ruthie, pris!!! my huggies! my 2 "sisterzzzz"(Ja JA BINKS!!!).... my lil' family in odac! (epecially my mama, the lil sheep, the 3 year old, er2 zi3...)..celesteee, suh yayyyy!!! banana! my supportive small group!!! yuanqi "mr moritsu" (in my most devastating moments, thank you for being there :)) my ever-so-wise and ecncouraging god bro sam!!! hee and my new found fren greg, daniel the "hunk" (;p), sister, darlings and supateens! *sMILez* and to my gurlfrens who've known the deep dark secret of "sky" and...*drumrollz* my MPC members!!! (mei po club *sMIRk*) haha we have never hit sth big but we'll do it manz!!!! :) heheheh...*antenna rises* yup! i thank the Lord for the friends i love and who never cease to worry for me (i will stardee hard....), who've given me their fair share of happiness and have allowed me to learn their deepest secrets and sorrows, to be their shoulder to lean on (though i don't think i've been really useful *sMIlez*), supporting me thru my darkest hours and the candle that brings warmth to my life...i love you guys lots lots lots!!!! *BEAR HUGS* *sMIlez* i guess frenships to people may be a necessity in that it raises a person's profile...to some it's their pillar of support, a hand that hopes to reach out to others...i hope it'll never ever be the first option. hee i guess i'll never be able to survive alone...which is why i admire people who may be seen as "outcasts" or "loners"...we may laugh at them, but they are the people wif the greatest inner strength and courage...the peeps i respect for their independence. there are peeps too who close their doors entirely to other people...it's as though we're walking through a maze...we may think that we're nearing the centre but the maze skilfully turns us out the other way..such is the heart of one who guards themselves daily....if you are guarding it so, isn't it tiring? Have you ever seen the people around you who care? It may be expressed differently but in this "i-am-cool-so-therefore-i-won't-talk-feel-express myself-hug-do" couldn't you have interpreted it in a different way? you may be hurt before and curse the world, even your existence and wonder why people you live with or see everyday at school don't care. But it's your fault. If you don't open up who will? And don't pretend to be strong...we're not superhuman...we do have our weakest moments...let what hurts us vanish. Indeed it may be tough and what marrs us may eternally exist, but it helps to allow the scar to fade to its minimal... and to us who face the wall...never give up yah?! *gRInz* there will come one day when we will impress a frenship on the important someone and then grow together (not physically! )..hee but it may be a bit too extreme when one seems "pervertish" or scary, in short. Friendships can make or break a person...will you make the person or break him/her? Make the world a better place!!!!! *gRInz*
hee went to city hall on thursday to scout around for queen's present then settled in the esplanade to study...or try to... (!!-_-) argh! the window seats must have been designed for peeps with height 1.8m and above...and it ain't very comfortable when our legs cannot reach the ground u know heh..so i gave up! *gRinz* hoho but i decided to walk from esplanade to raffles place!!! ah! wonderful weather! was the "want-to-rain-but-doesn't" type with fair breezes and winds! hee and felt the nostalgia when i smelt-saw-heard the sea...sobness it's time for some odac peeps.. *smilez* so i walked through the serene and reflective (not to mention beauwwwtiful) esplanade park that gave another view of the Fullerton and perching myself upon a rail i saw this snake charmer trying to charm tourists (unfortunately) hee enthralling a few (including myself) after which i continued my discovery under the trees...ahhhh!!! 'Twas like autumn as the breeze came and leaves started twirling down! was amusing myself wif ze crunchy leaves by attacking each one (stepping on them of course) and looking up towards the trees that i guess i beacame the entertainment for Mr Snake Charmer and tourists alike...(!!-_-)sobness.... then me crossed this tunnel at the end of the path into.....the other side of the path heheh..where there was the XXX bridge towards fullerton! haha! so me crossed and turned into the restaurant-pubsy district that was thankfully deserted and kept walking towards the end of the "segment" (which is amazingly long if u look from the bridge itself!), finding many interesting restaurants (should try makan there if haf $$$! looks good! :) ) and aloha!!!! haha found the perfect studying spot at the end of the row!!! *gRINz* apart from it being perfectly quiet wif many tables, Coffee Bean allows us the choice of the air-conditioned room and the breezy ambience of the Singapore River!! (hee but may be slightly polluted wif the nearby road and a beeet warm in sunny weather :) ) but it may be a bit cold...well heck! haha it's a good and peaceful studying environment wif therapeutic waters!!! go try!!! and that ends my tourist attraction for ze day!!!! :)
Footprints in the Sand One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD. When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life. This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it: "LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me." The LORD replied: "My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
ahh this is really touching and sweet...to fellow Christians this may well be a time for reflection...are we faithfully carrying the cross? are we persevering and continuing no matter how we may be facing trials and tribulations? Are we trusting in Him? But we have to knpw He'll be there for us at the end...like He's been for me in so many ways no one can ever tell me He doesn't exist anymore... *gRInz* hee almost cried when i watched this...terribly sweet...especially the ending...haha it's from a korean website -http://www.donghaeng.net
Mama did go thru a lot of pain to get me here, that I can tell. The pre and post-natal depressions she might have had, the painful probing of the hard cold metal that was inserted into her during each check-up that mama braved to ensure that I had a safe and secure “home” to grow up in. Morning sicknesses that kept her from eating well, trying to retch but never having the ability to really do so (and having nothing coming out + keeping the feeling there is really terrible!) or throwing up whatever she ate, the sleepless nights as her stomach swelled and pressed on the bladder, causing her to wake up at least 4 times to visit the washroom…the inability to lie on her side to get into a more comfortable position, how movement was restricted and totally uncomfortable. How her ankles naturally swelled and became swollen from supporting both our weight, the backaches and to some mothers, having varicose veins. In addition to that ugliness, mama had to sacrifice a good figure as well, having the “tummy” that had acted as a protection for me. And since she had a Caesarean, the scar would be there for life…I’ve seen it-it’s thick, long and ugly. Did you ever ask your mama how long she went into labour when “it was time”? The excruciating pain that gave her trouble breathing, almost suffocating her that she needed an oxygen mask? How she might have needed a bit, how she might have dug her fingernails into papa’s arm (whilst grabbing out in pain) so forcefully that it bled when all screams could not relieve the pain…And if it was a natural birth, the doctor would just cut her up without any anesthesia to allow us to come thru, sewing up mama only when we were out safely. Could u imagine someone cutting u up with a pair of scissors? Imagine the added pain after having an “almost relief”! And despite her weakness from the pain and effort through the hours and the gargantuan volume of blood she lost, she wanted to hold and carry us. No mother would go through that if they didn’t love us, which is why she gets so anxious for us as well…cos we came from her and were once part of her body which she so tenderly protected and nourished… Have u said “thank you” to your mama yet? It might be hard…saying that for once in our lives to whom we might be annoyed with and find a nag, or even heartless might be hard, but a mother deserves the utmost respect from the one she suffered the most for. No matter how unfeeling she may have appeared to be, we don’t have the right to shout and hate her, but honour her..If televisions and the media exalt a mother so much (even more than fathers u notice…), why not us before it’s too late? She does love you. I’ve said it…now it’s your turn.
During the superteen camp, Ernest, the master trainer told us of the pains our mothers went thru in order to have a “me” and a “you” today. haha I shall spare the details of “biological processes” but did you know we all fought a life and death situation even before we came out of our mother’s womb? Fighting against millions of other papa sperms, only one would succeed (or more to my twin-ly fwens J) And that is part of---I. Yup! Champions we are right from the start but to the point of our low self-esteem, we feel like losers. Indeed, a loser who never tops the class, who may not get a scholarship, gets shitty grades and feels like one.. the truth is, we aren’t! you and I are the result of “champion sperms”, and if our low self-esteem comes from the fact that we think we are unlovable, forget it….
Nice Christian Songs!! *gRINz* (slow) 1. All We Like Sheep- Don Moen 2. Magnificent -Hillsongs 3. All the Heavens-Hillsongs 4. Everything To Me -Avalon 5. By Heart, By Soul -Avalon 6. Above All 7. Reaching For You- Hillsongs 8. Spirit Touch Your Church 9. Jesus, Lover of My Soul(It's All About You) 10.When the Wind Blows- Point of Grace 11. The Potter's Hand 12.Just Let Me Say 13.To You 14.Through It All 15. I Will Run to You 16.On Eagle's Wings 17.I Feel Like I'm Falling 18. The Heart Of Worship 19.I Simply Live For You 20. This is the air i breathe 21. So You Would Come 22. You Are Awesome in this Place 23. You are Holy 24. Power of Your Love 25.Draw Me Close 26. What The Lord Has Done 27. I Give You My Heart
sobness...am doing my self write-up now...and i've absolutely nothing to write!!!!! haha decided to switch to describing my character and then i realised there's nothing much i can say either.... o woe is me....
 You're Most Like The Season Autumn ... You're warm, and the most approachable. You have that gentle prescence about you. People can relate to you, and find you easy company. However it's likely you've been hurt in the past and it has left you scarred so things can become rather chilly with you at times. Being the third Season in, you're mature, trustworthy and loyal to your friends but prone to depression and negative thinking. Well done... You're the shy and sensitive season :) ?? Which Season Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla You know something, this freaks me out...cos it's so true!!!!! (!!-_-)
The More Loving One W. H. Auden --------------------------------------------- Looking up at the stars, I know quite well That, for all they care, I can go to hell, But on earth indifference is the least We have to dread from man or beast. How should we like it were stars to burn With a passion for us we could not return? If equal affection cannot be, Let the more loving one be me. Admirer as I think I am Of stars that do not give a damn, I cannot, now I see them, say I missed one terribly all day. Were all stars to disappear or die, I should learn to look at an empty sky And feel its total dark sublime, Though this might take me a little time.
LOOKING THROUGH YOUR EYES Leanne Rimes Look at the sky Tell me what do you see Just close your eyes And describe it to me The heavens are sparkling With starlight tonight That's what I see through your eyes I see the heavens Each time that you smile I hear your heartbeat Just go on for miles And suddenly I know My life is worthwhile That's what I see through your eyes *Here in the night I see the sun Here in the dark Our two hearts are one It's out of our hands We can't stop what we have begun And love just took me by surprise Looking through your eyes I look at myself And instead I see us Whoever I am now It feels like enough And I see a girl who is learning to trust That's who I see through your eyes Repeat * And there are some things we don't know Sometimes a heart just need to go And there is so much I'll remember Underneath the neon sky with you forever Repeat *
 You Can Talk to Animals! What's Your Magic Power? brought to you by Quizilla haha i suppose i'm both....
*gRinz* been eons since i last wrote! :) went for a superteen camp before prelims which shocked many and nevertheless to say, myself...worse still i was only informed of it the night before!!!! (!!!-_-) sobness.... haha but i guess it's the experience of a lifetime! ;) hee met many brilliant people there, apart from the fact that i was the oldest...(!!!) and am older than most of the resources (i/cs)...hee but i learnt many things...and my dictionary of dirty jokes just expanded humungously as the days passed...*gRinz* i guess my intention of going thru camp without leaving any impression just went zilch when ernest singled me out...bleah....haha but he's really quite se4(hee)...and from an 'intended nobody' sprouted " Blanche" for the name of the group...followed by being a camp "commandant" wif kian at the end of the first day...and being "widely known" thruout the camp. Talk abt being inconspicuous.... Oh!!! haha we had high elements called the challenge of excellence! like our outdoor week last year just that on the last day we were on the highest element wif bo belay system?!!!! quite bad considering i have no SOGB (sense of good balance) and kept falling...haiz...kudos to kian, dan and greg for supporting me and encouraging me all the way thru! haha '3 good men', u all are! *smilez* and erm the "er-hem" matter which definitely spruced up the camp... (!!-_-) ...but i guess it's the first camp that i've ever cried n revealed so much!:) and i've dreamt of u peeps for a whole entire week!!!! speaks how much i've missed u all huh?*wINKz* haha i've so much to say, so much to report but time flits past so easily!!! :)
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